I n South Asian part of the globe Bangkok for all reasons seems to be the most favoured capital destination for tourists very religiously searching for fun & frolic. Bangkok has everything fun-tastic to offer to its guest tourists penetrating full zest from all over the world. Squeezed, yet wide open to accommodate each one, everyone. Very literally described by our Taxi driver on way to the Harrods of Bangkok city Lotus- Plaza, that Thailand is basically a land of beautiful girls with thunder thighs where the cocks bang everytime, anytime! Sounds, not only sounds but looks true. Thailand is a land of only Thai girls. Men are almost invisible.Our tourist guide Tony enlightened us with so many hard facts like: the gender ratio of Thailand is about 60-40 [female-male] ; Crime rate in Bangkok is almost zero ; Pollution level is within permissible limit ; accidents by drunken driving is the biggest headache on the silken streets of Bangkok [though we saw none] ; ninety per cent population is Buddhist and three per cent are muslims ; and the Indian tourists comes at the seventh position while touring this land of multiple massage, mauj-aur-masti. [Sex] tourism is the mainstay of Thailand and its biggest consumers are from the European countries. It is believed that if the tourists from Britain, Canada, and America stop landing at Bangkok International Airport this country would not only be hard-pressed but bed-ridden, gasping breathlessly. Yet, The Thais shit and urinate on Americans. Everywhere inside toilet in Bangkok there are uncomfortably low laying “ Sana Flush – American Standard” urinals and commodes. Real pity for those who bring bread, butter, crème and yes, latex to them !

If Bangkok is the most favoured Pattaya is the most flavoured destination for the visiting tourists in Thailand. Lies about 200 kms to the southeast of Bangkok, about two hours by road Pattaya is certainly the most [s]exciting place to have fun-and-flavour of life. Again, the Americans made it all possible. During the Vietnam War Pattaya was used as an official R&R center for the US forces. Anyway, soon after Welcome to Pattaya billboard and entering into hotel Beverly Plaza for tea and coffee in the evening we got the verve of this city famously known world over for its night life. Pattaya during day time is like any curfew bound metro city of India, completely deserted & dead. But with the dusk descending the life gradually starts its palpitation and by night this beautiful beach city gets its lifeline. Everywhere in Pattaya only girls can be seen in ultra western outfits either working in hotels or inviting tourists to their open bar or alluring them for sheer fun below the belt while standing at the roadside. Seeing only beautiful girls in Pattaya everywhere was not very much surprising because our Pathfinder tourist guide Tony had already enlightened us by the fact that Pattaya has got 70-30 [female-male] ratio and here prostitution is very much legal. Sex is the hole-soul of Pattaya and the economy of the city rests full bare on it.

Braving the alluring-inviting waves of smooching Thai girls from our bus window we entered into a theatre house for the famous one-and-half hour AL Cazar show of Pattaya. Mesmerized with lusty eyes by the beauty, grace, body lithe, nude thighs and colourful dark dresses of the artistes we watched the show sipping beer and soft drinks [free of cost] with occasional clapping. Soonafter the show ended we saw the artistes standing outside the hall ready to be photographed with anyone for 100 Bahts. No one looked interested in photography but everyone wanted to touch the lissome bodies of the ladies. One of our fellow middle-aged agency journalist too could not check his temptation and got himself photographed with his hand around the waist of the smiling girl. But the climax came when we’ re informed by, who else, Tony that all the artistes of the AL Cazar show were not females but Eunuchs. It was not very hard but simply unbelievable to believe but, very sadly, true. We found our poor photographed journalist pretending to be falling in sleep on his bus seat! Our disbelief gape did not shut here. After checking in our beautiful beach view hotel Jomtien Thani we some of our extra excited fellow journalists ventured out on the roads of Pattaya to get the first-hand feel of its night life. The curious cells of journalistic cerebrum compelled us for that, so we excused our Bihari moral ethics. Roaming carelessly with wide open mouth one of our senior s-excited journalist mustered enough courage to approach an extra-ordinarily sexy looking girl standing on the beachside. We all like his obedient junior too followed him with competing long leap. Gracefully welcomed us with smile the lady asked for 300 Bahts each only for s****** and no f******. However, the real orgasmic fall came when she disclosed – you, me, all same…. same. Third category of the sex !!

Statistically, Thailand’s socio-economic condition is not very much different from India but once you land there you feel the difference drastically. Baht is a stronger currency than Rupees. You get a daily paper Bangkok Post or The Nation for 20 Baht or even the 40-pager Pattaya Post, a Bi-monthly newspaper comes at no less than 20 Baht. Here in our country adding a little bit more to this one can get daily newspapers for the whole month. Not only this, we had to pay 5 Baht just to relieve ourselves in the urinal of a shopping Mall River City Cruise. Dinner at Royal Chaophraya Princess Cruise was no doubt a real delight but paying 5 Baht for urinal use certainly was not very much relieving for most of us. Harish from Harayana, a waiter boy at Bawarchi, an Indian restaurant in Lumpinee Phatumwan, Bangkok gets 15,000 Bahts per month as salary which is more than double of some of the visiting journalists. For 20 Bahts one of colleague got his Pan-Parag pouch in Pattaya at the gate of Ali Baba, an Indian restaurant. Even in the net age of world today access of Internet for an hour comes at 100 Baht in Bangkok. Thais are really on high than Indians; not closer but far far away both socially as well as economically.

It was the Civil Aviation ministry which dared to bear the brunt of all our enlightenments, excitements, experiences, curiosity, pleasures, and nonsense in the name of tourism promotion between the two countries. Do the journalists really do it ! Anyway, thanks Mr Hussain for connecting the land of Buddha, Gaya to the land of Budda, Thailand. But Mr minister sir, we’re all looking forward for Indian Airline’s Japan, China, Korea, Sri Lanka, Burma connection to Gaya to complete the Buddha circuit !!

Amarnath Tewary
Bihar based correspondent of Outlook Newsmagazine